So in my further discussions with The Philosobiker, I am trying to clarify the rift I perceive between religion and reason.
When you begin to identify with rationality, you begin to attack the metaphysics of your religious institutions. So how do you keep the benefits of these institutions once the supporting metaphysics is gone? You need replacement religious institutions with less metaphysical baggage. That is what having "someplace to go" means.
Part of the challenge is that some dedicated rationalists refuse to consider that a religious institution can be anything except laden with unnecessary and unsupportable metaphysics. Similarly, dedicated traditionalists refuse to consider that such an institution can have any moral core or any meaning.
There are plenty of people who are both rational and religious. I believe that many of these people maintain this by keeping domains of thought separated as I have discussed before. The brilliant neurosurgeon who is also a young-earth creationist, as an imagined example. They simply refuse to apply reason to their faith. Or they might just refuse to rationalize their practice, i.e. they know it is unreasonable to think that God is listening, but they pray anyway. Or perhaps they have carefully examined every piece of their faith and have careful and rational reasons for all of it - they know they are praying for personal and social reasons, etc., and yet they are stuck in an institution that will not allow them to express this openly.
Or, much more commonly, they say to hell with it and leave religion entirely.
For instance, why is it so rare for women to be ordained? Why is homosexuality an issue? These are not things that we can put off on a vocal minority. These are mainstream features of organized religion in the US. Were a substantial portion of our religious institutions actually rational, we would not be discussing those kinds of issues. The churches that had openly lesbian ministers would be common.
Does this make sense? The assertion is not "No religious people are rational and no rational people are religious." It is that the majority of our religious institutions and practices do not support rationality and are not supported by rationality. The exceptions to this prove the rule.